Really?!

"Love is the spirit of giving with out expecting anything in return". Anonymous

Is that what it is? Because I love. I love deeply and sometimes irrationally. And I have a spirit in it that I cannot even begin to explain. But to not expect that in return would not make me happy and would kill my spirit and I would not love. Because WHAT is love without being loved? How dysfunctional would a relationship be if nothing is expected from the other. Maybe (most likely) I will never ask my 8 year boyfriend to do a single thing for me, but he knows that I expect him to love me and respect me and be as irrational as I am. 

Because all these 8 years with Chris have taught me that there are things to expect from the other person and that is how love is built. When your expectations are met by a person in all levels then you become happier and more connected to that one person.  When there are expectations that are not met, I've noticed that I become doubtful of my relationship. Since Chris is my first boyfriend (and I am his) there have been so many lessons to learn; we didn't have the experience of messing up relationships with other people. We have just learned and moved on and become a very strong unit. 

He knows what makes me happy and I know what makes him happy and we expect to be happy. Forever. When things change and our expectations are changed we will have to communicate in order to travel down the same path but just in a different vehicle.  

Obviously I understand this quote in a more shallow way, like me getting him a little present (which I love to do for all friends) without expecting him (or friends) to get me anything in return. But not for deep and irrational and passionate love to be shared with one person.

I don't buy this quote at all. It's like "The early bird get's the worm" .... well that's nice but not for the worm. 

Ze End!!

I'm done!!!! I'll be honest and say that I totally cheated this year. What the hell? I've done this detox 4 years in a row with no problem, but this year food has just found itself in my fingers and into my mouth.

So instead of restarting for the third (or fourth?) time I'm just giving my body a break. I already lost 13 pounds since July 1st, haven't had coffee in about 3 weeks, and I feel energized and like I've given my body a reset. Even with the cheating I feel like I gotten some good results.

So today I started the day with the Saline Wash in the morning, and from 9AM-2PM I had the last bit of my left-over Lemonade. For lunch I had lettuce, tomatoes, one fourth of an apple, and a flour tortilla (had to get that carb!!). I still had so much energy because it's just the good sleep, no need for coffee, and beautiful sun giving me positive outlooks on my eating habits. Then I even went to yoga!

I've always loved yoga and pilates. So I'm going everyday to either Yoga or Pilates or a run around my neighborhood for 5 miles. Today I went to Yoga to the People for an hour of Power Vinyasa, which led to some heavy duty sweating. It was gross and awesome at the same time :)

Dinner was pretty yummy too. I had a small sandwich with 1 1/2 slice of ham, 1 slice of muenster cheese, and lots of lettuce followed by really hot Green Tea.  Bringing my total calorie intake to: 939!! Which is a little of low side but I didn't have a normal breakfast.

So far so good...

I weighed in today at 123.5

That is about 9 lbs lost since I started to become very health conscious, so I guess my "mess ups" couldn't have done too much damage.

The experience with the Master Cleanse has been amazing though. I haven;t had coffee in about 2 weeks, I am so clean inside and I can feel the difference in my energy level. After 3 days of being in the Master Cleanse you will experience your bowel movements as something resembling pee more than poo. There is literally nothing inside you to excrete, except for liquid and a yellowish mucus thing that the website says is normal.

5 More days to go :D

Day 0 ... AGAIN!

What the hell! I have THE meanest family eveerrrrr! I kid... but seriously! MUST they make this for my first day of cleansing?

And then throw a BBQ with all my favorite foods???!!!

Needless to say, I failed. Urgh, I had felt so strong and empowered by not even having a lick of of the delicious meal pictured above, but how could I say no to my dad's carne asada (google it! word's can't describe how amazingly delicious this dish is). Just look at that red, delicious, juicy piece of steak just waiting for me to devour like the dinosaur I was in my past life.

That's not all! Because even though I tried to eat an extremely small meal to not cause too much damage, everyone egged me on to just go with it. And I did. And it was delicious! Soooo I had the carne, I had the yellow rice with my mom's potato salad, tomato and onion salad (Courtesy of Chile), strawberry pound cake, cranberry muffin, ice cream. Now you must be thinking What the hell, Carol? Didn't you feel bad? and I say HECK NO, because right after that feast I had, 1/4 of a funnel cake (for the first time ever!!!) and pizza and then my sister bought me a BK whopper jr, and a diet coke (which wasn't diet. You hear that cashier??? I can TELL when its not diet!). And then I was done....

I had to start all over again, but then I had a really bad day because I argued with an old friend. I'm just tired of being nice. I think I'm just too complacent and I go with the flow, and I wished that I could be angry and show anger once in a while. Maybe people wouldn't stand me up, or flake out, or be super late when I want to see somebody. I just let everyone off too easy. I should be able to voice my opinion, but like I said, I'm very satisfied with letting things go.  Instead, I reached for the fridge and popped in 2 cookies and some m&m's.....

So I started again :) You just gotta do it, it's a hard cleanse for a reason.

In better news: Since the beginning of July I've lost 10 pounds :D 
I took this picture because I was so happy!

 

HW: 137
CW:126
GW1: 120
GW2:110


"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop."
-Confucius

Master Cleanse Day 1

Yesterday was the last day I ate any solids. SO goodbye bagels with cream cheese, cereal, ice cream, coffee, alcohol, and just about anything that doesn't involve lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayene pepper. Can I add tequila to my lemonade?!!!

One of the things that really keeps me motivated is visualization. I have to see my goal. Pictures of myself after cleanses are the best, because I know I'm usually between 120-130lb range but on my short self that can be a big change. I also look through different magazines, blogs, and websites that have thinspiration. Although, thinspiration is a clever word that is now associated with pro-ana and pro-mia websites, I do not encourage you to be ana or mia. Whether you realize or now, thin-inspiration is all around us, and instead of making me feel bad about myself, I decide to put those skinny models and celebrities to good use and get inspired to reach my goals. Which is between 110-120lbs. Some may think that 110lbs is too little, but I have a small frame and I'm 5'2''. So that would be a BMI of 20.1 and that is right in the Normal category.


Myself at 120

Myself at 127

The weight has to come off because I refuse to buy size a size 6 in all my clothing. Every time I go to the stores to try on clothes I feel bad because I know there are better ways to spend my money. I already have so much clothes and it can't go to waste, so the weight must come off.

When I started I weighted in at  130. Today I am 127 :D

Days 1-7 (Check!)

The first week is over!!! The restricted diet, lots of water, and 48 Hour cleanse have all allowed me to slowly go on to the big Cleanse. It was hard!  I allow myself to eat very little, so I sometimes didn't know when to stop.

Here is my Feast on 4th of July:
Breakfast
One slice of Bread (70)
Coldcuts (210)
Butter (50)
Total: 330

Lunch and Snacks: 
Miracle 48 hour and Arizona Green Tea (380)

4th OF JULY FEAST!
4oz Meat! I'm Spanish, its gotta happen (150-180)
1/2 cup Rice, Also HAS to happen (180)
1/2 Margarita (200)
Total: (530-560)

Overall I had at least 1,240 calories for a holiday. Usually, I will go all out and have over 2500 cals easy! My other days I had between 500-800 calories. Seems very bad for a cleanse but this is a very hungry girl during pre-cleanse. If you fail, just keep trying, eventually your mind will be strong enough to deny temptation and my potential mother-in-law's cooking.

Onward! Today was my first day of the Master Cleanse. And I kinda failed here and there but I've set my calendar (on Master Cleanse app) for 7-10 days just in case I failed my first day.. or second... (All ingredients and instructions are at link to the website, at the bottom of this blog).

Before you start drinking the lemonade you have to start the night before with the "before-bed" Senna Tea, which I find delicious and thick. Like some tea meant to soothe you while it causes chaos inside. Really! It creates a gentle feeling as you drink it but don't bother setting your alarm the morning after. This gentle tea will wake you up with abdominal pains and will make you rush to the bathroom as a nice welcome to the Cleanse. With that said,  if you decide to do this cleanse I hope you start it when you don't have work/school the next morning for about 2-3 days.

Next up is the Saline Wash, which must be done before anything. So this morning I went straight to the kitchen and instead of reaching for my coffee pot, I reached for the Sea Salt. Mixed my Saline Wash concoction and drank it down. It's not as gross as it seems, basically the warm water and sea salt taste like chicken soup without the chicken. The warmer it is the better it feels, otherwise it makes me wanna gag by the time I've drank only 16 oz (out of 32). This wash will also make frequent trips to the bathroom and even the Master Cleanse app will warn you against flatulence because you might not have gas at all... So don't leave your house for about 2 hours and don't fart out of your toilet.... Fair Warning

All of today I was supposed to just drink my Lemonade and that's it! But for some reason I made the mistake of not drinking it right after the Saline Wash, so for about 3 hours I didn't notice how hungry I was. And then I ate 2 cookies and 4 m&ms... and blueberry pound cake. I should know better. A happy tummy is one that stays satisfied and doesn't send signals to my brain to ravage the fridge. So I tried to stay good for the remainder of the day and ate an orange when I couldn't take it anymore. It happens, but now I know I can take on tomorrow.

Now to get my Senna tea ready :) Goodnight!

http://themastercleanse.org/

Day 1

...of my yearly detox! Yayyyy

^^ Happy Detox Face :)
First! This is MY journey through my detox. Don't try anything yourself without researching and talking to your doctor! You never know what my body can take and yours can't. Everyone is different and you shouldn't take my blog as How-To but rather as a written experience of one person going through a detox.

As hard as it may seem for a person to deprive themselves from one of life's most delicious necessities, I know that once a year won't kill me, I've done the Master Cleanse about 5 times. Usually I try to privately journal my days to keep track and kill time writing instead of eating, but this time I decided to share it (to whoever may even read this) and show an honest reaction of how a person (24 yr/ female who eats 3-4 meals everyday and do light exercise 1-2 times a week) goes about the detox/fast. You may think I'll breeze through this easily since I've done it before, but oooooh no! Every single time is just as hard as the first time. If there is a person out there who can easily fast whenever they like, then tip of the hat to you and pleaseee give me tips! I usually do well with distractions but my life isn't so exciting to keep me busy for hours on end. But I also like that it's hard, because I become so aware of my body and its needs (because hot apple pie with vanilla ice cream is NOT a need, as I usually like to believe ha!).

So tonight (or morning) I just drank a glass of Napolina (fiber drink) and tomorrow I begin my pre-detox. I need to prepare my mind and body for what is coming (Its very hard to just jump into the Master Cleanse right after a weekend of regular eating).

Tomorrow I will drink a cup of coffee (not ready to let that go just yet) and then fill a big bottle of water with a few ounces of the Hollywood 48-Hour Miracle Diet. Hold your thought! I do not believe that this "diet" will make me loose 10 lbs as it claims (you will probably gain all those pounds back and then some...as all fad diets make you do). This is just my pre-game for the big Cleanse because you basically run your body for 2 days on only 800 calories! I water it down a lot because I love to eat and get really cranky when I don't, so constantly drinking this fruity juice keeps me distracted! The writing helps too because I reinforce my will power by writing my success, which motivates me to keep going!


Master Cleanse: http://themastercleanse.org/