About a month ago I weighed myself and reached 136 lbs. This is the reason why I've felt so slow and fatigued and a bit lazy. I usually stay around 110-115 and I feel most energetic at this weight.
But it's not only the weight but also my heart, my muscles, my strength that are going out the window.
-Recently I landed myself in the ER because my heart couldn't take a small sprint from one train station to my transfer. It hurt so bad, like someone just grabbed my heart and gave it a yank. WTF?!
-I went to the GYM and did some leg presses. About a year ago I could do 3 sets of 20 reps on the olympic leg press using 300lb plates. A few weeks ago I couldn't do 2 sets of 20 with 190lbs. WTF?!
-My arms, legs, and tummy were once in tip top shape, didn't have a six pack but it was very toned. Now I have a huge roll that I cant even hide or suck in. WTF?!
And so I had enough and I'm down to just 128. My own body is my motivation.
On Saturday I went back to the team I rowed for throughout high school and pulled so hard. Pulled for every time I ever ate Taco Bell, Burger King, and Wendy's instead of the healthy (free) food my mom had waiting for me at home. I pulled for every time I decided to watch TV instead of doing the Pilates videos (right at home!). I specially pulled for every time during these 5 years that I thought that I was on a healthy track just because I was thin and was able to fit (with a lot of struggle) in my jeans.
My ultimate goal would be to weight 110 lbs again and be super toned, but more important than that number is the energy, strength, and cheeriness I experienced when I was healthy!
Because if you ever see me, you'd know I was thin, but what does it matter to be thin if you don't have any muscles but just fat? If you can't run 30 minutes without stopping on a straight paved road? If you can't sit down on the train without falling asleep because of the small amount of energy you have? That's me! And I had enough!
I'm sore! And it feels great! I ran 3.6 miles (in an hour eek!) and it's embarrassing, but now I've worked out and feel a bit more energetic than I did two weeks ago. I woke early and didn't need multiple cups of coffee to keep me going. This is going to be a journey (because before when I was super athletic I had a wonderful coach that helped me be at my very physical best) for me, I am doing this alone. And I'll be glad when I succeed :D
Next goal: 120 lbs and being able to run 5 miles in an hour :)
No comments:
Post a Comment